


Are You Scared?

by YuriAllDahWay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-20 04:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuriAllDahWay/pseuds/YuriAllDahWay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Trost. It's been several days since the battle of Trost, and Krista's been having second thoughts. Only when Ymir asks her, "Are you scared?" does she realize something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You Scared?

**Author's Note:**

> This FanFiction was originally posted on FanFiction.net. And yes, I am the same author.

She saw it all. A dead body on the corner there, a solider blasted to smithereens from a crushing blow from a Titan. There was a mound of dead comrades, piled on top of one another. Puddles of blood dotted the cracked pavement of the town of Trost. Corpses of Titans were being dragged away, along with bodies on stretchers. Maggots and flies swarmed in groups, feeding off the entrails that littered the streets. Krista noticed Annie standing over a person she didn't know; a friend of Annie's, perhaps? The other blonde was repeating "I'm sorry" over and over and over again. Krista realized she was standing still, and tore her eyes away from the scene. She continued onward, searching for that one person.

She saw another person she knew, a person that was luckily alive. It was Sasha Braus, a fellow graduate of Trainee Squad 104. A gigantic ball of slime and mucus was stuck against a brick wall. Sasha's brown eyes were huge, fear and disgust apparent on her expression. "We can't identify anyone in this, dammit." A male voice said. Confused, Krista stared at the ball before her own eyes held fear and disgust. Bodies were contorted into the most grotesque of positions, their faces either singed off, eaten, or who else knows what. Despite that, Krista continued to keep eye contact with lifeless eyes. They were all different shades, sometimes different shapes, but they held those same emotions: terror, dread, distress. She wondered if they had screamed for someone to come and save them or even wished for someone else to be eaten. Krista knew firsthand that those faithful and loyal companions can betray one another when they faced death.

"It's a disgusting sight, isn't it?" A voice muttered behind her. She nodded her head before walking away from the person. Krista needed to keep looking, to simply assure her nerves. She passed the sphere of disgust, the smell atrocious. Her stomach churned, and flies flew around her face. Swatting them away, Krista turned a corner before noticing another thing. It was another corpse, possibly a female. Her limbs were bent in such a way it sent chills through Krista's body just staring. She approached the corpse, her heart beating. The woman's hair was up in a ponytail, but that was common. Her skin was tanned somewhat, and her face was freckled. Krista's throat clenched in anxiety, her slow breaths turning into panicked gasps. If the woman on the ground was the person Krista thought she was then—

"Krista? What are you doing?" A familiar voice sounded behind her. Krista whizzed around, tilting her head upwards. The taller woman had a ponytail, freckles, tanned skin, and a confused expression on her face. Krista's heart hammered in her chest, her arms throwing themselves around the other's neck. Ymir nearly lost her balance. "Whoa there, shorty. You're going to make me fall." Her voice was teasing, and Krista let the 'shorty' remark slide. She was happy to hold the older girl again.

"Ymir…" She sighed out in relief, her tone shaking. A hand rested on the top of her head, caressing the blonde hair. Her breathing returned to normal, her heart pulse slowing. She closed her eyes, basking in Ymir's scent. Krista knew she was alive, for several days now. But for some reason, she felt the need to stay near Ymir. Krista feared that if she was away from her, the taller woman would die from a Titan or whatever danger this forsaken world presented in their faces. The battle of Trost may be over, but the deaths will continue to pile up. Krista was scared to death of letting Ymir slip away from her fingers.

"Krista, are you scared?" It was as if Ymir was reading her thoughts.

"…Yes." Krista mumbled into Ymir's shirt.

The day dragged on, and Krista didn't take note of most of the events throughout the day; they weren't anything important anyways. She was now sitting at the mess hall, Ymir in front of her. The stew in front of her was seasoned well with herbs, along with a rare delicacy of tender meat. The smell was supposed to be delicious, but instead it churned Krista's stomach. She never had an appetite these days. The scenes of the aftermath still haunted her, and the sour taste of bile was in the back of her throat.

"You not going to eat?" Ymir asked through a mouthful of stew. Krista stared at her with her cerulean eyes before shaking her head no. Ymir raised an eyebrow before dipping her spoon in the warm broth. "Shame, it's really good." She raised the spoon up to her mouth and sipped, to prove her point.

"Not hungry," Krista said, "Haven't been hungry for a while." She closed her eyes, the sight of dead corpses littering the streets meeting her mind's eye. She remembered that ball of mucus that encased those poor soldiers, their expressions being singed into Krista's memory. She recalled someone saying that when Titans had stomached more humans than they could handle, they would regurgitate them and continue their hunt for more. Her insides were tied into knots, her stomach lurching. That nauseous smell that clung onto the town of Trost was taking over her sense of smell, her throat clenching at the scent. The sudden urge to retch was overwhelming to Krista, but she knew that if she did, nothing will come out.

"Are you still scared?" The woman had interrupted her thoughts, thankfully. Krista opened her eyes halfway. She was tired and weary, her body heavy. Her hands…well, they were trembling. Was it out of fear? Krista intertwined her own fingers, pondering. She wasn't so sure. The smell of food was making her head pound.

"Depends." She stated carefully.

"Well, you scared of dying?"

"Who wouldn't? After seeing all those people die in the most grotesque of ways, who wouldn't? Only someone who's strong can really stand their ground and fight without the fear of death looming over them, you know."

"Anything else?"

Silence. Then, "I don't know. Fear seems to be taking over me, and every aspect of my life."

"So, are you scared?" Ymir asked again.

Krista gave a small nod. "Yes."

The next thing the blonde knew she was staring at the dark ceiling of the cabin. Darkness was surrounding her, shadows swimming circles around her. Ymir was on her right side, her back facing the shorter woman. The soft, deep breathing of the older girl was the only sound Krista focused on. It was obvious that Ymir was asleep. The younger girl could only imagine how a person can sleep in such dire times. The pictures in her mind and her rampant thoughts were too busy occupying her mind, rushing to one subject here, before deciding to bring up disturbing visions of Trost. Her stomach clenched, and the distinguishing taste of bile was building up in her throat.

She closed her eyes. Darkness only led to more darkness. Nevertheless, Krista listened to the breaths next to her, a slow metronome that her heart thumped with. The sour taste in her mouth receded, and drowsiness seemed to take over her for a moment. Suddenly, she thought about the woman's corpse on the streets of Trost. The way her limbs were contorted and twisted was the final straw; Krista threw off the sheets and bolted for the door. She opened the door and ran to the back of the cabin, where she retched. The taste was awful and scratched her throat raw. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, her head pounding. She couldn't stop her body from trembling, the cold air of the night biting into her flesh. Warm, gentle hands placed themselves on Krista's shoulders, and pulled her back slowly to a center of warmth.

"You know, you're not suited to be part of the Scouting Legion. Or fit to be a solider at all." Ymir's voice sounded behind her. The taller's chest vibrated with every word she spoke. She basked in the other's warmth, while leaning back; Krista didn't have the strength to support her own weight.

"…What makes you say that?" Krista's tone was quiet, the words slurring due to fatigue. Still, her tone held conviction; it was as if she was commanding Ymir to state her reasons. In a way, she was.

"If you're going to puke every time you see a dead body or remember some bloody shit on the streets, then you have no place in the Military. Same thing goes for Titan vomit." Ymir quietly stated. Those words sent Krista into a rage, and she ripped herself from the other's grasp. She held a hard contact with Ymir's brown eyes.

"Are you calling me a craven, Ymir?" Her tone was sharp and had an edge to it. Still, Ymir did not flinch and coolly stared into her cerulean eyes. By the way she was looking at her Ymir looked like a wolf circling around its prey. Krista's aggressiveness subsided somewhat.

"You always wanted honor through your actions, Krista." The other stated the obvious. The blonde's brow furrowed with confusion.

"What of it?" Her tone now held curiosity along with conviction.

"What actions bring honor to someone?"

She opened her mouth to retort back, but no thought crossed her mind. She closed it, then broke away from Ymir's gaze; she felt helpless. It was as if she was a timid rabbit cornered by the wolf.

"Are you scared?" The other's presence was closer now. Krista closed her eyes. The Titans' lazy smile, their insane strength, the bodies, the limbs, the blood, the expressions. The sight and even mere memories sent chills running through her body. A hand cupped her cheek, and she leaned towards the touch. Calloused with training, yet still managed to keep a feminine gentleness. She opened her eyes just a crack, glancing up meet Ymir's. They held a worry and concern, her eyebrows furrowed cutely. Krista never saw such an expression on the older girl before. It seemed so foreign and alien to her.

"Yes, but," She took a breath, before sighing. "I don't want to be. Feelings like fear and distress make me feel weak. I don't want to be weak. I want to be strong, so I can help the people."

"Do you want to help the people or gain honor?"

"…Is it wrong to want both?"

Ymir shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't care much for honor."

There was a pause. Krista was holding Ymir's other hand in both of hers. She played with the slender fingers before she remembered something. "Ymir?"

The other gave a small hum of approval. The hand resting on her cheek moved upwards, tangling itself in her yellow hair.

"Are you scared?"

All movement seemed to stop once Krista asked that question. All the emotions that once inhabited Ymir's brown eyes quickly fled. Now all that was left was that all-too-familiar blank face. It almost scared Krista to see such a face.

"Yes." Her tone was deadpan, her expression still and unwavering.

"…I don't believe that." Krista stated blatantly. Ymir scared? The thought baffled the shorter girl.

"Well, it's true. Like you said earlier, it takes a very strong person to fight without being scared. I'm…not a strong person. Although I act like a cynical bitch sometimes, that doesn't mean I'm scared as fuck in the inside. I'm scared of so many things: dying, losing the ones that I genuinely care about. The list goes on and on." She had retracted her hand from Krista's head. The blonde realized how lonely it was without Ymir's warmth. She glanced at the hand she held, and squeezed it tightly.

"You really are scared?" Krista asked absently.

"Everyone is one way or another."

"Do you have a fear that haunts you every day?"

Ymir's hand slipped out from Krista's. Warmth surrounded her face, and it only took a moment to realize that the taller had cupped her face with both hands. Her face grew hotter; whether it was from Ymir's hands or the rushing blush filling her cheeks, Krista couldn't tell.

"I'm scared of losing you, if that counts." The older declared boldly.

Krista felt her whole body blush, embarrassment coursing through her body. She knew that Ymir was always protective of her and had always teased her time to time, but she didn't know that it went so much deeper than seeing her as a little play toy. Ymir actually cared about her. Of course, there was nothing wrong with that; Krista always enjoyed the other's presence no matter the scenario. But the way that Ymir said it…it was as if it was a confession of some kind. Her ears sizzled at the thought.

"D-Don't say stuff like that," Krista mumbled under her breath, "It's embarrassing."

"It's the truth."

Krista pouted silently. It was only a moment before she decided to say something.

"I…I think I know what brings honor to people."

Ymir raised an eyebrow, clearly interested. "Oh? What is that?"

"Protecting the people you love. That's a way, isn't it?" Krista asked, with a small smile. Slowly, she placed a hand on top of Ymir's, one each. "I want to protect you. And I'm positive that's the best way to get honor." Her smile grew, and a red line branded itself across the other's cheeks. Ymir blinked several times. Krista giggled despite herself; the little rabbit managed to flatter the wolf.

"Well then." By her tone, the tanned woman was flabbergasted. She giggled to her amusement once more before reaching out to cup Ymir's face.

"Now that I have a reason to fight, everything doesn't seem so intimidating," Krista muttered, talking to herself than to the embarrassed woman in front of her. "…I feel somewhat braver."

"So. Are you still scared?" Ymir asked.

Krista shook her head, and pulled the other woman's head down. Their foreheads touched, their breath mingling. Everything seemed non-existent around them with Ymir close to her like this. For once since the breaching of Wall Rose and the battle of Trost, Krista was at peace.

"No." Krista whispered. She gave a small peck on Ymir's nose. "Not anymore."


End file.
